Mothers and Daughters Talk

I know the Lord inspired me to give this specific talk in Church Last Sunday. I hope that as you review one of my favorite conference talks with me by reading this you will feel my testimony and know that Elder Ballard is truly a prophet and apostle of God.

The Family A Proclamation to the World

Mothers Divine Role in nurturing her children

In 1995 the First Presidency of the Church issued a proclamation to the World regarding Families. “The Family a Proclamation to the World” is latter day scripture and for those of you who may not be familiar with this document I want to review the key points before I focus my remarks on one specific area. The proclamation states:

· “All Human beings male and female are created in the image of god. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents.”

• “Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God.”

• “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

• “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children.”

· “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families.”

· “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”

• “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.”

• “The disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”

· The last words of the proclamation express the simple truth that the family is “the fundamental unit of society.”

Today Burke and I wish to focus our remarks on the responsibility husbands and wives share in loving and caring for their children. As I listened to General conference a few weeks ago I was so inspired by the messages about family. It was clear our focus for the next six months should be on strengthening our families. I was particularly impressed by Elder Ballard’s talk that spoke directly to Mothers and Daughters. I have three beautiful daughters whom I care for daily but I also have many beautiful young women daughters who I am blessed to teach and serve at least twice a week. I love these young women and hope that they will heed the council of the prophets to strengthen their relationships with their mothers.

I am blessed with a righteous and devoted mother. I recognize that this is a special gift and one that I cannot ever take for granted. Not all of you young women have this blessing in your life. However that does not mean that you are alone or that you get to stop listening to my talk. You do have faithful grandmothers, aunts, sisters, and mentors who can be the example of a faithful mother in your life. Know that when I talk about mothers I am also referring to these women in your life.

Eder Ballard gives you some wonderful suggestions in General Conference on how to take full advantage of your relationship with your mother.

He urges you with “all his heart” not to “look to contemporary culture for your role models and mentors.” Instead “look to your faithful mothers for a pattern to follow.” Popular culture bombards us with wicked and destructive images and ideas about womanhood. Elder Ballard said “Popular culture today often makes women look silly, inconsequential, mindless, and powerless. It objectifies them and disrespects them and then suggests that they are able to leave their mark on mankind only by seduction—easily the most pervasively dangerous message the adversary sends to women about themselves.”

It is crucial that your follow his council to “Model yourselves after your faithful mothers not after celebrities.” He continues “Look to your mother. Learn from her strengths, her courage, and her faithfulness. Listen to her…. When it comes to matters of the heart and the things of the Lord, she has a wealth of knowledge. No other person on earth loves you in the same way or is willing to sacrifice as much to encourage you and help you find happiness—in this life and forever. Love your mother. Respect her. Listen to her. Trust her. She has your best interests at heart. She cares about your eternal safety and happiness.” I know this is true. Your mothers do love you and they want what is best for you!

As you can imagine Elder Ballard did not end his talk here. With our daughters looking to us Mothers as their example we have much to do. Elder Ballard shared the observation of a mother who often travels with members of her extended family “If the mothers are thrifty, so are their daughters. If the mothers are modest, so are the girls. If the mothers wear flip-flops and other casual clothing to sacrament meeting, so do their daughters.” I have to agree with this observation. I have three sisters and as we have all gotten married and had children we often remark on how similar our attitudes, habits and ideas are. In reality however the truth is that we not only share these things in common with each other but with our mother. It is her example that we followed and her righteous influence that helped us become who we are. Although I am far from home I hear her words of encouragement “I can do hard things”, “We can always be a little better”, and “It is better to be kind then to be popular” I share these mantras with my young women who also know that we want to be “carrots not lettuce.” You will have to ask them what that means. Her example and council will be passed on to my daughter as well.

Mothers, we have far more influence on our daughters then we may ever know. As Elder Ballard states “As mothers in Israel, you are your daughters’ first line of defense against the wiles of the world.” We know the evil in the world and marvel at the challenges our daughters face. I am terrified to think of what the world will be like when my daughters are young women. I often wonder how I can protect my daughters from the world. I question if I will ever be able to teach them enough to keep them safe from the adversary. I doubt that I will I have the strength, energy and spiritual gifts that I so desperately seek to help me be the mother that my daughters need? Dear Sisters I know that I am not alone in my weaknesses and doubts. It is normal for fear to cloud our minds and fill our hearts with despair. But we must not let it stay there. That is Satan’s weapon. As the proclamation declares the family is the “fundamental unit of society” and Satan is intent on destroying it. He knows if he can cripple mothers that the family will fall. Fear is the opposite of Faith and we need to have Faith in our divine role as mothers.

Elder Ballard stated “Sisters, we, your brethren, cannot do what you were divinely designated to do from before the foundation of the world. We may try, but we cannot ever hope to replicate your unique gifts. There is nothing in this world as personal, as nurturing, or as life changing as the influence of a righteous woman.”

I know this to be true. In my moments of doubt I have felt the calm reassurance of the spirit testify to me that I am doing the lords work. That he will help me become the mother I desire to be and that my children will be blessed through my influence. You too can have that same assurance if you go to the Lord in prayer and ask for his sanctifying spirit to be poured out upon on you. Then as we seek the guidance of the spirit and follow the council of the prophets we will be the example our daughters need.

In his talk Elder Ballard gave us some wonderful council that I know if we follow will help our daughters become prepared to overcome the temptations of the adversary follow the path that leads to exaltation.

· Teach them to find joy in Nurturing. “This is where their love and talents can have the greatest eternal significance.” “A mother-daughter relationship is where a daughter learns how to nurture by being nurtured. She is loved. She is taught and experiences first-hand what it feels like to have someone care about her enough to correct her while continuing to encourage and believe in her at the same time. Satan is always attempting to undermine the most precious element of a woman’s divine nature—the nature to nurture. Teach them that a faithful daughter of God avoids the temptation to gossip or judge one another.”

· Teach them Virtue.” Your daughters as well as your sons are coming of age in a world that openly embraces early, casual, and thoughtless promiscuity. Immodest, unchaste women are glamorized and all too often celebrated and emulated. While there are steps that we can take in our homes and families to minimize our exposure to these unsavory elements of contemporary living, your daughters cannot entirely avoid the blatant sexual messages and enticements that surround them. You need to have frequent, open discussions during which you teach your daughter’s the truth about these issues.”

“For example, they need to understand that when they wear clothing that is too tight, too short, or too low cut, they not only can send the wrong message to young men with whom they associate, but they also perpetuate in their own minds the fallacy that a woman’s value is dependent solely upon her sensual appeal. This never has been nor will it ever be within the righteous definition of a faithful daughter of God. They need to hear this—clearly and repeatedly—from your lips, and they need to see it modeled correctly and consistently in your own personal standards of dress, grooming, and modest living.”

· Teach your daughters about making Covenants. “All youth will be more likely to make and keep covenants if they learn how to recognize the presence and the voice of the Spirit. Make sure they know that keeping covenants is the safest road to eternal happiness.” This statement had a great impact on me when I heard it. Note that he does not say teach them he says “make sure they know”. My oldest daughter is going to be eight in a year and half and she will be able to enter the waters of waters of baptism. I will make sure she knows that this is the first covenant she will make with the Lord. I will make sure she knows that taking Sacrament every Sunday and renewing that covenant is the safest road. I will make sure she knows that entering the Temple and continuing to make covenants with the Lord will protect her. I will make sure she knows that being sealed in the Temple for Time and All Eternity is the only way to eternal happiness. We have to make sure our children know this.

I know that these words are true. With the Lord’s help we can be the faithful mothers our daughters need. That as we teach them to find joy in nurturing, teach them virtue and teach them to make covenants they will be able to stay on the safe road that leads to Eternal Happiness. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen